AND I QUIT!

Can I just revel in the negative for awhile? Can I sit with the bad and let it overcome me while I transform in to the bitter spinster whose stuck in her career? Can’t I wont for a spiral downward into the abyss? I can make good friends with the bad feelings and we will laugh at ourselves. Sometimes it’s kinda fun to be a cynical person.

But that’s not how one get’s ahead. Sure there are so many disadvantages I was dealt in my career and hobbies, but focusing on them is not doing anyone a service ever. It can be true that I feel I don’t get work because my parent’s aren’t connected to the industry, or my best friend’s mom isn’t a producer, or my best friend isn’t an art director, or that my gender keeps me underpaid and not taken as seriously for the role of commercial photographer; it can also be true that it takes time to make those connections organically, and that the longer I assist the more I can learn every day on how to be better at photography and lighting. Giving up is not an option, I am way to stubborn for that. All I know is when I’m hired as a shooter, I’ll be using my privilege to bring in those who are in the same position I am in now. The overlooked, the under-connected, the passionate. I hope in 2 years, I will be writing another post about how I’ve made it to shooting. That is my goal. Here’s to growing, staying the course, and allowing myself to feel bad about it just a liiiiiiitle bit.